


Flirting with Pun-ishment

by FanficWriter827



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Abandon All Good Taste Ye Who Enter Here, Bad Jokes, F/M, cheesy flirting, no seriously
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-06
Updated: 2019-07-06
Packaged: 2020-06-22 06:45:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,412
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19661968
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FanficWriter827/pseuds/FanficWriter827
Summary: Roxas and Xion have their own separate ways of getting each other flustered. Roxas likes to tell puns and dumb jokes while Xion likes to passionately flirt. Although they may get flustered, they both secretly enjoy it.





	Flirting with Pun-ishment

**Author's Note:**

> This was an excuse to write as many dumb jokes and cheesy love lines as I could think of/find on the internet or take from books. I regret absolutely nothing.

It started innocently enough.

Xion remembers the first time Lea taught Roxas about how to tell jokes, wordplay in particular. She can remember it plain as day; Lea called out to Roxas, “Hey Roxas” he turned to his friend, “What Lea?” Lea attempted to suppress his smirk, “What do you call a pirate who only eats vegetables?” Roxas shrugged his shoulders, “I don’t know what do you call them?” Lea attempted to put on a fake pirate accent, “A veget-YAR-ian!” She remembered cracking up alongside Roxas, little did she know that would lead to Roxas fully embracing that form of humor. She can’t quite determine whether she fully hates it or loves it.

He first started with jokes like the ones Lea told him, jokes such as asking her what does a buffalo say to his son when they leave, “Bi-Son” asking her what a spy does when he gets cold, “he goes undercover”, what do you refer to a missing parrot as, “a polygon”, and why can’t a bicycle stand on its own?, “because it’s too tired.” If he just stuck to those kinds of jokes, she would have been just fine but then he had to start getting creative.

She remembers one time when she was cleaning up the living room and she happened to stumble on a fake mustache that was conspicuously placed behind a pillow with a note attached to it saying: It appears you found my secret Stache :). There are also the times where she just happens to walk into these situations sometimes. She remembered having a pleasant chat with Roxas when he propositioned her for some tea, “Xion I was wondering if you would like to have some tea together while we continue our little repar-tea?” She had to admit, that one was fairly decent. 

Perhaps his best joke was the one time where she cooked a pasta dish for dinner and when she asked for some feedback, as if Roxas was waiting for this kind of opportunity his whole life, “Xion I have to say, that was impasta-tibly delicious” complete with a cheesy wink. It certainly got uproarious laughter out of her, Lea, and even Isa was chuckling along. It wasn’t until he started incorporating his quips into casting magical spells, it was like he had a joke for EVERY kind of magic the two could use.

Perhaps the only thing that stopped her from groaning too much was the fact he was her own personal cheerleader, she thought it was sweet of him, even if they were exceptionally cheesy even by his standards. 

For fire magic he would either talk about her magic being too hot for her foes to handle or he would tell her that she is smoking hot, Lea told him most if not all of his fire puns. His ice related puns were by far the most numerous, he would talk about the heartless needing to chill, how everyone should stay cool, giving the heartless the cold shoulder, or how “his girl is cold-blooded” just to name a few, although she hopes he is only joking on that last one. She definitely thinks some of his other magic based puns needs more material.

The only prominent thunder related quip she can remember is was where he one time remarked, “That was a good spark of creativity on your end.” She remembered flatly looking at him with a blank expression. Roxas was rather sheepish as he nervously apologized, “Sorry I don’t have a whole lot of material”. At least he had more material for other spells. 

She once cured him and was told, “Xion, you really are the cure to all of my ails.” that got a sheepish look and blush from her. He also had a quip for aero magic, “You really know how to blow ‘em away, don’t you?” He also had light-based puns for his own magic, often remarking in some sort of variant of it being an enlightening experience for him. There was only one magic based joke though that actually genuinely annoyed her.

The two were once talking about other spells that the two could attempt to learn, Roxas lamented being unable to use the gravity spell in particular. “I agree, the gravity spell is a very useful spell being able to massively damage larger heartless in particular.” Roxas nodded in agreement but couldn’t hide his cheeky smirk, she began to mentally brace herself. “I concur but I want to know the gravity spell so that I can help the heartless understand the gravity of their situation.” Xion was silent at that one, bringing her hands together in contemplation, she began to have an exasperated laugh as she rebutted,

“Roxas I’m going to slap you one day if you keep this up”

Roxas was unfazed, “No you won’t, you love me too much.”

“I’m going to show you tough love in a minute you dolt” as she playfully bopped him on the head. This earned her a playful from Roxas. As much as his jokes may be cheesy, she suspects that Roxas knows that she secretly enjoys them. 

She remembers in particular one time where she came home exhausted from work, she volunteers with Isa at an animal shelter in Twilight Town, their mutual love of dogs in particular being how the two made amends after their rocky history together. She remembered stumbling in the door and collapsing on the couch, Roxas was immediately there to comfort her.

She remembered that he immediately slung an arm around her and pulled her close, he slowly began to rub her arm up and down in an attempt to get her to relax as he began to question her.

“Xion, are you okay?” she could only mumble in response which prompted Roxas to inquire again, “Sorry, I couldn’t quite make that one out, what did you say?” Xion composed herself as she attempted to repeat what she said.

“I said things were crazy at the shelter today, me and Isa were stuck with grooming most of the cats and dogs.” Roxas had a look of sympathy on his face, but ever the opportunist he saw his moment.

“I guess that explains why you’re so doggone exhausted and borderline cat-atonic.”

As much as his jokes can sometimes make her groan, she appreciates his attempts at comforting her, at least it helped distract her from her exhaustion, but she still couldn’t just let him off the hook.

“You know that I’m covered in animal hair, right? I can easily get it all over your clothes.” Roxas being the sweet and cheesy sap that he is wasn’t fazed in the slightest.

“I don’t mind getting into hairy situations if it means comforting you.” Xion had her own playful smirk as she noticed Roxas adjusting himself so that she could better wrap her arms around him, she playfully threw herself into him and he hugged her tight slowly stroking her back. 

She lied in his arms for a few seconds before she heard him say, “In all seriousness though, are you okay?” 

“It’s fine I just need a few minutes.”

“Take all the time you need I’m not going anywhere.”

Xion was curious about one thing though, she never heard him use the word catatonic before. She lifted her head up to stare at him as he stared her right back.

“Where did you learn that word by the way?”

“What word?”

“Catatonic, I’ve never heard you use it before.”

“Oh that, I’ve been studying a dictionary from time to time, need to know more words so I can have better material.”

“Just because you know more words, it doesn’t magically make your jokes funnier.”

“You say my jokes are bad yet I see you smiling whenever I tell them.” he said in a mocking tone.

She lightly chuckled as she continued to stare at him, noticing that his cheeks were starting to turn red. “I’m only smiling at how bad they are silly.”

They continued to stare at each other as she slid a hand onto his cheek, before Roxas could ask what she was doing she told him, “There’s something on your face, let me get it for you.” She then lifted herself slightly up and tenderly kissed him, whispering into his ear afterwards, “It was me” When she pulled back she took note of his flustered smile and that he was at a loss for words, she giggled at his expression and rested her head on his chest and shut her eyes wanting to rest for a few minutes, he did offer after all.

In all sincerity, she can’t get too mad at Roxas’s jokes. Even if they can make her groan sometimes, she knows that it makes him happy and that he’s doing his best to make her happy. She can’t get too mad when she has her own way of getting him flustered, one that she knows he loves.

She remembers the first time she got this idea; she was texting Kairi lamenting on how relentless Roxas can be with his puns. She remembered what Kairi told her, “It’s funny, Sora is also very fond of making little quips like that, but if you want to get even with him, I have an idea.” Xion was interested and texted her response, awaiting Kairi’s answer she couldn’t help but smile evilly when she read her response.

“Although Sora and Roxas are two different people, if Roxas is anything like Sora then that means he will respond the same. If you want to try and get him flustered, passionately flirt with him, and not anything simple like an “I love you” or “you look good today” it has to be passionate, almost overwhelming.” This gave Xion a few ideas.

Flirting was something the two didn’t do too often, it mostly just extended to the occasional compliment or observation. But the first time she tried to ‘passionately’ flirt as Kairi put it, she got the reaction she was looking for. She was hanging out with Roxas, Hayner, Pence, and Olette and Roxas was trying to get a picture with her. “Hey Xion, say cheese!” wrapping an arm around her and snapping a picture.  
When he finished, she turned to him and told him, “You know, you don’t have to say cheese anytime you want me to smile.” Roxas was confused, “Huh, why not?” with as much confidence as she could muster told him, “because I’m smiling every time, I see you Roxas.” She thinks that was the reddest he ever turned so far, as he couldn’t even manage a response, but she noticed that big goofy smile. However, she felt a little bad as she felt that maybe she had perhaps embarrassed him, noticing Hayner and Pence chuckling at Roxas. That guilt went away though when she saw Olette scolding the two boys and flashing her a thumbs up. Still she resolved to keep her flirting to when it’s just the two of them alone.

The next time she got him was when Roxas ended up taking the last ice cream in the freezer. Roxas had a forlorn look on his face, “Sorry Xion, I took the last ice cream.” 

Normally she would be disappointed when all of the ice cream was gone, but in that moment, she had an idea. She looked to the side shyly trying not to meet his eyes, putting her arms behind her. She sighed, “That’s okay, disappointing but okay”

Roxas still looked apologetic, “Are you sure?”

Xion shrugged while bearing a small smirk, unable to fully hide her schemes, she noted how Roxas slightly tensed, was he perhaps anticipating her swiping his ice cream?

“Yes, I’m sure, besides I thought of something else I can have.” She shifted her eyes and was now locked on him.

“Really what?” She noticed Roxas moving the ice cream away from her now, but the ice cream wasn’t her target.

In one smooth motion she took a step forward, leaned in, and kissed him on the lips. She felt him kiss her back, she could take the ice cream now if she wanted to, but that wasn’t her goal. When she pulled back, she simply told him, “Your lips are far sweeter than any ice cream I’ve ever had.” Again, she saw him turn beet red and was at a loss for words, she decided to press her advantage and continued,

“My my, you’re looking pretty hot there, are you going to have your ice cream, or if you want, I can take care of you?” She noticed that he was able to muster a response this time.

“No, no I’m good; thanks for the offer though” he quickly shuffled off but she noticed his goofy smile, she knows that he likes it. She doesn’t always make it so passionate; she doesn’t want to overwhelm him too much; she prefers to space out her romantic gestures.

There was one time where they were simply just sitting on the couch, just talking and just generally enjoying each other’s presence and she decided to joke with him, “You know you should be under arrest”  
She noted his confused expression, “Why?”

“Because you stole my heart” She remembers the two just chuckling, as much as they tease each other she knows that he loves her, and that she just tries to make sure that the feeling is mutual. Which of course brings her to the present.

The two were currently facing off in the forest of twilight town. The forest was one of their favorite spots to train, spar, and just generally hone their keyblade skills. She had her Kingdom Key replica and he was currently just wielding Oathkeeper, he wanted to keep it fair. The two began to approach each other taking practice swipes first, after all there’s no need to go crazy. Their time spent working together on missions helping them to memorize each other’s forms. They have similar forms but with their own minor differences. She notes that Roxas favors a more aggressive style whereas she prefers to be more evasive. She dodged to the side, evading Roxas’s slice and attempted to counterstrike with Roxas promptly blocking, again there was no need for them to go all out, she didn’t want to hurt him and she knows that he would beat himself up if he accidentally hurt her.

When they backed off and were just a few paces apart from each other she decided to banter with him, “You know I feel kind of bad right now”

Roxas was amused, “Oh? do tell”

“You seem to be much more comfortable with two keyblades as opposed to one, this is almost too easy for me”

He was unfazed, “Don’t feel too bad you know, after all I know your movements very well"

She winked at him, “I know you do, because I can’t keep my eyes off you” she was hoping to throw him off his rhythm. For once she noticed that he was unnerved, perhaps he was too focused?

“You think that your sweet talking will be the key to your victory?”

She looked pensive for a second before holding out her key closing her eyes and then allowed her weapon to turn into Roxas’s Oblivion keyblade, “No this is”

Roxas chuckled at her remark, “Copying my jokes now Xion?”

“Maybe?”

The two began to approach each other as they began to clash once more, their keyblades bouncing off each other. She wasn’t aiming to get him though, at least not where he was expecting her to. She just needed the right opportunity, she threw out a feint and wanted him to react and over extend himself, which he did. She saw that cocky smirk and a triumphant remark, “You just left yourself wide open Xion.” She made her move quickly shifting herself to hook her keyblade on his and turn it away, that same cocky smirk disappeared the moment he realized what was happening, but it was too late.

“Only because YOU left yourself wide open” Just like she did days prior she stepped forward leaned in, this time hooking a hand on the back of his neck she pulled him in to give what might be her most passionate kiss yet. She felt triumphant when she heard his keyblade clatter to the ground and she used her other hand, letting go of her keyblade, to hold him close. Before he could properly kiss her back though she pulled back to see a silent Roxas just looking both happy and disappointed that she pulled back too soon from their kiss. 

“What’s wrong Roxas, cat got your tongue? Although I guess it’s more appropriate to say that I got it.” Complete with another wink. She didn’t hear him say anything until he finally mumbled something.

“What was that?”

“I said that wasn’t fair, just kissing me like that, especially when I couldn’t get you back”

“All’s fair in love and war Roxas, that makes my little trick all the more effective”

“That wasn’t very practical you know”

“Only practical against a certain cute keyblade wielder, you’re just mad that it was the key to MY victory.”

She noted that Roxas had a coy look on his face, what is he planning? “Still copying my jokes huh?”

Xion put a finger to her chin in a thinking gesture “Hmm while it’s true that I can copy many things, there is one thing I possess that's very real and not just a copy.”

“What’s that?”

“My undying love for you.”

She noticed that Roxas paused for a second before clutching his chest in an overly dramatic fashion and then falling down on the ground in front of her, rolling her eyes she knelt down on the ground overlooking as she sweetly asked, “Are you okay?”

Continuing with his theatrics, he answered in a quivering voice, “I’m sorry my dear it’s just with that remark it just gave me such an overwhelming feeling and sensation of love, so much so that I daresay I suffered a heart attack from all of that passion.” They both stared at each other for a few seconds before they both burst out laughing, Xion herself doubling over landing on top of Roxas as the two laughed for nearly a whole minute, wiping partial tears off of their faces. She noticed that they were close again but she heard Roxas speak.

“I do need some help though, dealing with this condition of mine...”

Xion was still amused, “What kind of help?”

“I need to kiss a certain black-haired girl in order to get back to full strength.”

“I think this is just an excuse to kiss me, isn’t it?

“I’m not hearing a ‘no’?”

Xion chuckled as she felt Roxas pull her into another kiss this one being softer than the one before. When the two pulled back she helped him to his feet as he took a few steps away from her, the same distance as when they first started their training session.

Roxas had a fairly triumphant smirk on his face “We’re even now, you know?”

“Huh?”

“The score is now one to one” It took her a second before she realized what he meant, “Oh so that’s how we’re keeping score? That wasn’t very fair of you to ambush me like that.”

Roxas could only chuckle, “Remember, 'all's fair in love and war' my dear Xion.”

Xion had a new look of determination on her face as she re-summoned her keyblade, “Keep laughing, it only motivates me more to get you back twice as hard.”

Roxas assumed a similar stance, “You know if you want me to kiss you so bad, you just have to ask nicely.”

Xion was undeterred, “That isn’t nearly as satisfying as it’s going to be when I wipe that smug look off your face.”

“Don't get cocky now, because I certainly know how to sweep you off your feet.”

Xion was quick to remind him, "Real rich coming from the boy who just fell for me again."

The two smirked at each other and shared a quick chuckle before they both charged each other once more with a new goal in mind.

As much as she may groan at some of his jokes and as much as she can be overwhelming with her declarations of love, she wouldn’t change any of it. She suspects that he feels the same.


End file.
